The Baja Bachelor

The big question was asked. 

She said yes.

And soon after, a bachelor party was born...

Arriving back stateside from the Big Island of Hawaii, my two best friends, Tommy and Tyler left no more than a day before asking who, what, where the bachelor party was going to be. Thailand? Bali? Europe? No, no. Much simpler than that. Much easier, more mellow and relaxing. 

Mexico. 

Good old-fashioned Mexico, where the beer is cheap, the waves are good and the food while good, will kick your butt harder than the tequila shots the night before.  

Say no more. Knowing Tommy and Tyler since birth meant knowing exactly what to do from there. And so it began...

Driving down the Baja coast, with teasing glimpses of sun poking through the waning marine layer, three cars full of anxious men caravanned towards our home for the next four days. The temptation to stop in familiar towns from past adventures and excursions was overruled by our eagerness to see our playground on the beach that awaited us. Finally, somewhere between Puerto Nuevo and Campo Lopez, we pulled off the highway. This exit had but a few establishments. A local liquor store that also served as a market, a motel that looked like it was out of a Tarantino movie, and of course the local watering hole that had a different intoxicated, unconscious hombre slumped over a wooden bench each day as we passed. It was perfect. 

Passing the "town", we went no more than a mile before pulling up to a guarded gate where we were greeted by "community staff". These men confirmed our credentials and let us through.

Things then changed quite drastically.  - Think Wizard of Oz when Dorthy is brought into Technicolor for the first time. It was as if we were in a beach community in Malibu. The custom mansions that were all at least three stories tall with infinity pools, private beach access and elaborate cars in the driveway. This was clearly a get away that was a class above mine and I couldn't be more excited. 

We pulled up to the very last house on the farthest corner of the community right on the beach. The owner met us out front, shook our hands and began the tour with his wide eyed, opened mouth audience. We were like kids in a candy store. Trampoline, Ping pong tables, arcade games, spa and pool overlooking the ocean, massage chair and so much more. This guy clearly knew exactly what he was doing and knew exactly who he was doing it for. After losing half the group to bidet toilets and walk in closets, the owner said farewell and no sooner did the door shut behind him did we crack fresh cerveza's and toast with tequila to my last days as a bachelor. 

Now the rest of that night, and really most of the nights in Mexico were kind of a blur. Specific details and descriptive verbiage was lost with the brain cells washed away with the ice-cold beers that kept us all howling at the moon all night. Do know however that each of those nights were nothing but fun. Pure uninhibited fun. 10 guys running around a giant beach property without a care in the world. Cell phones didn't work, internet was limited and we loved every bit of it. Well, almost every bit of it that is. The mornings were a bit rough to say the least. Nothing a greasy breakfast burrito and a Michelada couldn’t fix though!

With the weather conditions being ideal, and the surf only getting bigger and better, we finally were able to wrap our heads around paddling out for a surf. After a few optimistic looks at where we should paddle out, the boys and I suited up and headed for the waves. Now I think mother nature was toying with us this fine day because it no joke took thirty minutes of non-stop paddling to be able to make it outside of the break. It was brutal, especially after the night before, but nothing sobers you up like brisk water crashing down on your head and a good sweat after paddling.

Catching our breath beyond the break, we were able to look back at the coastline and see the monstrous homes along the beach. The group of guys all out in the backyard staring in disbelief that we actually made it out past the break, all looked like little ants roaming about. The pelican, one of the best surfers on the ocean were taking advantage of the waves that day. It was calming to see how effortlessly they soared just inches off of the water to catch the wind that came off of the waves that would shoot them down the break. Some of them would dramatically come straight up into the air thirty or forty feet, only to plummet straight down, crashing into the water to catch their prey.

It’s moments like these that make the world slow down for just a little bit.  Just enough to make life seem a bit more simple and easy. Just enough to make you forget about your troubles and leave you with a smile on your face.

And that I was. I was grinning ear to ear that entire surf session because even though the paddle out kicked my butt, I caught some really great waves and had an amazing time with my buddies out there in the big blue ocean. We were even lucky enough to capture some of the surf session with my buddy Tyler’s drone that was able to catch aerial footage of us surfing.

After catching as many waves as my arms would allow, I managed to catch one last one back in to the beach to give my noodle arms a rest. I was met on shore by an ice-cold beer and a high five and shortly after that, we started the beach games. We had horse shoes and beach volleyball and while you were waiting for those games, we had the entire beach to ourselves to throw the Frisbee.

We had music playing, coolers filled to the brim and not a cloud or person in sight. It. Was. Perfect. My love for the beach and for the ocean is pretty high and so this day had me in pure bliss, especially since I had not surfed since I had move from San Francisco to Las Vegas a year and a half prior. With our bodies sun kissed pink, and our coolers nearly empty, it was time to head back up to the house for some sustenance before the sun met the horizon.

Now I’m not entirely sure, but I’m pretty confident we had tri-tip that night… Or maybe it was ribs? Either way it was delicious because Tyler cooked it and you can’t go wrong with him manning the BBQ. Tommy’s blended margaritas were the culprit for my memory loss that night, but boy were they delicious. Another night of howling at the moon, getting pushed in the pool, accidently stepping in the bonfire, and nearly blowing up the house with some Mexican fireworks were just a few of the highlights from night two. But again, it was kind of blurry, so who really knows..

 

Sunday morning was slow moving to say the least. Some were found sleeping in bathtubs, some in closets and lawn chairs while some we didn’t even see until after noon. The night took a toll on us all and there weren’t enough electrolytes in the world to hydrate our depleted brains. Luckily we had remembered a local fish market nearby that served some great Micheladas and had some amazing local eats that would get us back on track, so we all piled in the vehicles and headed North towards Las Gaviotas.

Paying a few pesos for parking in a giant dirt lot, we all shuffled into the outdoor fish market right on the beach and kid you not were THE only white people there. We all stood out like sore thumbs and we knew it, but didn’t care one bit. Mainly because we were hungover and just hungry and thirsty, but also because we had been here before and knew the vendors loved it when gringos came through so they could make a few extra bucks. Now I know what you’re thinking and yes the smell of fish didn’t go over so well with all of us, but as soon as we got to our Michelada spot, we all sat down and had one or two or three and began coming back to life.

This fish market is a scene to say the least. There are all sorts of vendors selling all sorts of stuff. Panchos, blankets, mini guitars, baby pigs, bracelets, sombreros, hammocks, candied crickets, knock off sunglasses… like I said, a scene. But, the perfect spot to people watch, enjoy the beach and get some truly authentic Mexican food and Micheladas. Between the music, the beer, the food and the weather being a cool 80 degrees with a nice breeze, this day was a dream come true (minus the morning hangovers of course).

So, how do you know it’s time to leave a Mexican fish market on the beach? Simply when the tide comes in and starts to wash away the things you’re trying to sell. It all happened quite quickly. Almost like someone had a tv remote and pushed the fast forward button. Things got packed up, thrown in trucks or wheeled off the beach so quickly, you would have never expected there was hundreds of people, vendors, chickens, and a whole lot of dead sea creatures there fifteen minutes before. With that subtle hint, our group of gringos shuffled back to the cars and had a nice coastal drive back to our bachelor pad.

Arriving back at the house, we were met by the owner and a local hired cook that were there to prepare an authentic chicken mole for us. This was quite the nice surprise as all of us were exhausted from the activities of the weekend and didn’t feel like doing anything but sitting back and watching pelican soar across the horizon, heading home for the night. With the sun setting, we all sat down at this giant dinner table and had the best chicken mole of my life. Definitely a meal I will never forget as we all chowed down on this delicious food, saying nothing other than the inaudible grunts and groans of delight from the meal. With our bellies full, we finished off the night with what was left of the booze sitting by the pool, telling stories, laughing about the memories made in those crazy three days in Mexico.